The tale of the Wicked Witch of the DIY west

I awoke to the sound of glass shattering. Sitting bolt upright in bed (ok, it was more of a fish-flop scramble with the sheets) I looked to my husband in the gloom as he stepped gingerly by his corner of the bed.

As it turns out he had knocked our already cracked light which decided it was as good a time as any to go completely to ruin. Luckily nobody was hurt, and more importantly our son slept through the whole thing, the glass, the vacuum, our whispered curses. But once I was awake, I was awake and excited for the day ahead. Why? It was trash day.

Before you start thinking I am some kind of weirdo that just gets excited about trash day, (I’m a completely different kind of weirdo) let me explain that I was excited more about getting the trash bin empty, than about getting rid of my trash. Ok that didn’t make it sound any better….

I needed the trash bin for my next project, dyeing drop cloth. I had everything I needed, the drop cloth had been pre-washed and was ready to go,

the dye was burning a hole in its plastic Walmart bag,

and I had a scheme for how to fill the big black bin with hot water. So I waited and at last the trash bin was empty. Well, mostly empty. I still had to get all the muck out of it.

Once the Bin was basically clean, still stinky, but not muck-encrusted, it was time. I filled the trash bin with water from my sink, just disconnected the sprayer-thingy from its hose and ran it out the kitchen window so the water splashed down into the trash bin.

Once it seemed full enough, I pre-soaked the drop cloth in hot water, and began to put the dye in to the garbage bin. I accidentally dropped one of the paper dye packets into the brew, and it dropped straight down, luckily it floated back up after a while and I was able to fish it out and empty it in. I then stirred the mixture with my broom handle and it was at that time that I realized how I looked. I looked exactly like a domesticated DIY house witch. Standing over my big seaming black trash cauldron, stirring with my broomstick and wearing a black tee shirt and grey and white striped pajama pants (yeah, it was the middle of the day). Good thing I was in my back yard. Good thing none of the neighbors kids were in THEIR backyards either or they would have thought Halloween had come early.

Then my son decided that I was doing was more interesting than what he was doing. I held him for a while and then realized that I needed to use my hand to more effectively rotate the fabric, so I put him down for a moment and he instantly started to cry. I reach my pink gloved hand in and pick up a corner of the fabric and see the label. It was then I realized that the fabric was only 45% cotton, with some polyester mixed in there. I had only added salt (for cotton), but now thought that I needed Vinegar as well (what did the packaging say?). So now I was standing there, my greasy flyaway hair partially plastered to my sweaty temples, mumbling curses into my cauldron, while a wailing child looks on. The picture of the Evil House Witch was complete.

I found the only vinegar in my house (apple cider) and poured the whole bottle in, and as if by magic, my son ran off to play with some dirt. Crisis averted. Then I waited until the eye of Newt was completely dissolved into my transfiguration potion, or an hour or so, stirring occasionally. And put Moana in, which successfully put my exhausted toddler to sleep.

After Moana was over, I went ahead and took all 5 drop-cloths out of the trash can and hung them on my fence to dry, I got splashed a little, but that’s ok. I just had to be careful not to get any in my eye, because eye of newt is not good for eye of human (at least that’s what it said on the packaging).

When it was all dry, I realized that I needed it to be darker, so I got a couple more bottles of Navy Blue and one bottle of Dark Green and did the whole thing again the next day.  As it turned out I didn’t really need the Vinegar, and the dye is not recommended for 100% polyester, but is good for “blends.” So salt was sufficient, but it may have been part of the reason the color wasn’t as dark as I wanted it to be on my first attempt, or maybe I just needed more dye. In any case, I was fine with the color after the second soaking. It still was't the color I wanted it to be but I was fine with how it would look in the upholstery project I had planned.

Normally I would say something about how much it cost me, but I wasn’t as carful at keeping record of it this time. In any case it was messy because I wasn't as consistent with my gloves as I should have been.