The Title of Artist
Since as far back as I can remember I have bee interested in art. When people ask me how or where I learned to draw I don't understand the question. I have always since I can remember ,been absorbing, observing and experimenting, trying to achieve a desired aesthetic. Even as I spent hours drawing and painting and learning, I can't remember really thinking of myself as an artist.
As an adolescent I remember thinking that I didn't have the attitude of a true artist, the brooding cloud of doom that encircles the "tortured" artist. How could I be an inspired creator without tragedy?I cursed my loving family and good luck... but maybe I could torture myself? I realized pretty quickly that I just don't have the disposition or energy to become a tortured artist, but I held on to this notion that a true artist is a tortured artist for an embarrassingly long time. Even as I knew I could not meet this perceived requirement of a "true artist", I still clung to my art. Eventually of course, I realized that all kinds of thoughts, and feelings can result in inspirational art.
I began to think that maybe my diverse interests were keeping me from creating a personal style and finding my unique perspective. Yes, that was it, I lacked uniqueness... and then I began to think, everything has been done, and so what's the point? Maybe I'm just not creative enough. Nothing I could do about that... yet I clung to my art.
It was toward the end of 2018, and as the new year approached, I began to think about my resolutions for this new year. Foremost in my mind I kept thinking that I wanted to do art, I want to be an artist. I began to think about how I could achieve that, so I made a goal to make more art. If there is one think I know for a fact about artists, is that artists do art. I also made a quiet, private resolution to start calling myself an artist. It was hard, I found myself blushing and laughing at myself when I spoke to people "I'm an artist, well I like to do art things, I don't know if that makes me an artist." As I have been keeping this resolution to do art, I realize more and more that an artist, works. Artists push themselves. Artists look at a goal and without a hope of perfection, work towards making that goal happen in the most spectacular way they can manage. I am realizing that in this sense, I have always been an artist. I cannot hope to make the work I really want to, but I keep at it, I cling to my art and I don't let go.
So I am an artist, and I feel a bit more comfortable saying that now. I am earning the title, because in my mind "artist" is a respected title, something to be earned, not something you are born with.
As an adolescent I remember thinking that I didn't have the attitude of a true artist, the brooding cloud of doom that encircles the "tortured" artist. How could I be an inspired creator without tragedy?I cursed my loving family and good luck... but maybe I could torture myself? I realized pretty quickly that I just don't have the disposition or energy to become a tortured artist, but I held on to this notion that a true artist is a tortured artist for an embarrassingly long time. Even as I knew I could not meet this perceived requirement of a "true artist", I still clung to my art. Eventually of course, I realized that all kinds of thoughts, and feelings can result in inspirational art.
I began to think that maybe my diverse interests were keeping me from creating a personal style and finding my unique perspective. Yes, that was it, I lacked uniqueness... and then I began to think, everything has been done, and so what's the point? Maybe I'm just not creative enough. Nothing I could do about that... yet I clung to my art.
It was toward the end of 2018, and as the new year approached, I began to think about my resolutions for this new year. Foremost in my mind I kept thinking that I wanted to do art, I want to be an artist. I began to think about how I could achieve that, so I made a goal to make more art. If there is one think I know for a fact about artists, is that artists do art. I also made a quiet, private resolution to start calling myself an artist. It was hard, I found myself blushing and laughing at myself when I spoke to people "I'm an artist, well I like to do art things, I don't know if that makes me an artist." As I have been keeping this resolution to do art, I realize more and more that an artist, works. Artists push themselves. Artists look at a goal and without a hope of perfection, work towards making that goal happen in the most spectacular way they can manage. I am realizing that in this sense, I have always been an artist. I cannot hope to make the work I really want to, but I keep at it, I cling to my art and I don't let go.
So I am an artist, and I feel a bit more comfortable saying that now. I am earning the title, because in my mind "artist" is a respected title, something to be earned, not something you are born with.
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